Life Misled- Corporate Attitude

Film producer, Robert Rodriguez, and film director, Nimrod Antal, screened the first sneak peak of Predators since the news broke that Adrien Brody would be taking the role of lead for the popular alien sci-fi flick slated for a July 2010 release. Of course it’s retarded that a pansy like Brody should be replacing Arnold Schwartzenegger as an intimidating military figure but Rodriguez and Antal have a history of decent films.

Take a look at the footage above…

Jamie Kennedy is gonna have to find a replacement if he wants to get whacked off in the pool ever again ’cause the vagazzling J-Love has decided to break it off with Kennedy and the details were confirmed earlier this week.

Hey, Jamie, give me a call maybe we can have a pity party later this week?

In what is likely the longest weekend of my entire life, David Schwimmer ended it by announcing his engagement to Zoe Buckman and my own engagement being broken. I’d say it’s funny how life works and take you through a great memory but I’d be fucking lying to you. Friends don’t do that to friends. We’re friends. Aren’t we?

Jessica Simpson did an interview and performance with I Heart Radio and evidently she doesn’t brush her teeth. No wonder Romo hit the bricks so quickly. Jessica Simpson’s plaque-stained sweaters and halitosis are sufficient men-repellents. I hope she balances her lack of oral care with the other sort of oral care. You know. Blowjobs.

I want to say thanks to my loyal followers. I noticed an uptick in traffic now that I’m back to posting regularly and it’s a good thing to see. Another good thing to see is the possibility that Lady Gaga does not have a dick afterall. At 1:09 in her new 9 minute music video, “Telephone,” there’s a scene where she’s thrown in jail, stripped down, and a warden says, “I told you she didn’t have a dick,” while the other responds, “too bad.”

Who knew the bitch had a sense of humor? Check out the new Gaga video above…

Oh, man. To be Amber Rose’s thong. Rose hit up BOA steakhouse in West Hollywood the other night and wore some incredibly unnecessary and terrible looking glasses but did us the service of wearing pants we could see her pink thong through. And she even wore matching pink shoes. You know what that means.

Christina Ricci may have had a cocktail at the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac after pary in Paris the other night. Just as likely, she had cock. I noticed a hoard of drunken men following her out hoping that in her vulnerable, drunken state, one of them would be good looking enough to spend the night and be the guy she wakes up and says “oh, fuck” to.

CoCo has to be one of the most useless, insecure women on the face of the planet which explains why she’s always taking to her Twitter posting pictures of herself to seek approval from the internet. The truth is, if her tits weren’t so big, her ass would easily tip her over. As it is, I’m not sure how she doesn’t have a procedure for getting up after sitting down. She has the ass of a black chick and the tits of a porn star.

If you want to see more than what CoCo has posted on her Twitter, check here for some more NSFW pictures…

Alright, so I was being a little sarcastic. A lot sarcastic. The first official trailer for Twilight: Eclipse has premiered on the internet and too many sites are covering it not to mention it here as well. Basically, you have Jacob professing his love for Bella while Edward does the same, the classic wolf/vampire love the pale, average girl. Then there’s Victoria who finally found Bella and Edward and Jacob have both vowed to protect her. I’m not sure how I feel about the new Victoria substitute but then again I never liked fire-crotches in general.

Check out the full trailer for yourself…

Ah, there’s nothing like waking up to the sound of Chris Brown’s desperation. Brown took to Say Now to beg what’s left of his fan-base to request their favorite radio stations play Chris Brown’s songs. In the aftermath of Brown beating Rihanna, it seems clear his records aren’t seeing the same radio play and Brown admits that without radio play he won’t have much of a career.

In his message he said (and some of it’s tough to understand with his girl-beating accent):

“Hey what’s up y’all it’s CB. Um… well I ain’t ever really did this but right now I just need all of my fans’ help. I need all of the fans I have, I need your help. It’s crazy because a lot of radio stations aren’t playing my records. They’re not being as supportive – and I wouldn’t expect them to. But, in everything you guys do you have the power to bring me back because that’s all I need. You guys, no one else can do that except the fans.

I don’t know what else to say, there’s nothing else I can do, I’m doing everything I need to do. I’m a better guy. But it’s on ya’ll because my singing and my music, I do it all for y’all and the love and everything else. But it won’t be possible if I’m not relevant on the radio and it won’t be possible for me to be an artist if I don’t get support from people who give artists an outlet. I can’t be an underground mix-tape artist! And so, that’s where we are. I just want all my fans to help me. I love you, peace.”

Maybe that dumb motherfucker should have thought of that before he went and beat the shit out of a top female R&B artist and then went on a jet-skiing vacation right after. The best thing that can happen to this guy is that he just disappears, all-the-while begging.