I haven’t had the time I usually do to update the site and read over e-mails ’cause I spent the weekend gettin’ drunk and recovering from concurrent hangovers. As my dad once told me, the best way to get over a hangover is start a new one. I believe he told me this after he told me the best way to learn a lesson was to be struck over the head with beer bottles while being duct taped to an old wooden door. I guess parents will be parents.
Anyway, I got pretty drunk on Friday night out at the bar realizing that I didn’t want to be one of those locals who went to high school, went to college, made nothing of myself, and decided to hang around local dive bars where bouncers acknowledge who you are ’cause you’re a lowlife who drinks too much rather than has a life. So, after feeling ashamed of myself, I hit another bar, got drunk, took some xanax, and fell asleep. Long story short, I still do nothing with my life but at least I’m not doing it at some shitty local dive ’cause I’m too broke to cash my welfare check and pay for gas to go to a real bar.
Saturday, I went to a party where I met my best friend’s girlfriend for the first time. She told me how she reads The Superficial, which is like the Life Misled for children. Anyway, she goes on to tell me that my friend told her to take a look at my site and she thought it was entertaining. I thought if she thought it was entertaining then maybe I was doing my job right. Then I got this e-mail…
I just thught u shoud kno that ur site is pretty gay. U tryso hard to be this funny asshole type but I’m sure in real life ur a pussy with a heart of gold. Stop trying to be so synical cuz no ones buying what ur selling.
-Jen
In typical Life Misled fashion, I responded to this motherfucker from work…
Hey Jen,
I just thought you should know that sometimes things are what they appear to be. For example, you appear to spell like a child, so you likely are one. Usually, when one goes about insulting another using a forum such as e-mail, they might use spell-check or something similar. Usually, spelling is an easy thing to poke fun of, and, let’s face it, you gave me several in’s on your spelling alone. Your spelling is atrocious and I wish you dead for that alone. To butcher the English language to the extent that you did disappoints and appalls me.
Furthermore, there are many broken bones that will attest to the fact that I’m not a pussy and even more broken hearts that will attest to the fact that I don’t have a heart of gold. In fact, I probably fucked you while you were drunk one night and your idea of retaliation is to send me e-mails with poor spelling telling me what a fake I am.
Anyway, I appreciate the laugh, I needed it on this long Monday.
PS- No one’s buying what I’m selling but they’re clickin’ my links and makin’ me money. So thank you for your contribution(s) and fuck yourself.
xoxoxoxoxo,
Bob Coughlin
CEO
www.lifemisled.com
I was never much for athletics ’cause I was more of a beer-drinkin,’ lazy piece of shit that would rather get buzzed than feel the Runner’s High that some stupid motherfuckers talk about after they “hit the wall.” Hittin’ the wall for me is shotgunnin’ some Heinekens and then trying to run from one room to the next and it just seems like it takes a whole lot less effort for the same pain.
Regardless, there’s this Olympic swimmer chick from Spain who seems like she does some pretty good swimming and has some talent there. I possess zero talent outside the water, let alone any talent within the water, unless you can count peeing in the pool without being detected. I can actually piss standing right next to you and act like it never happened and I may have, depending on who you are and what pool(s) you’ve been in.
Anyway, the point isn’t that I can piss in pools undetected, it’s that this bitch’s tits are all over a magazine ’cause she decided to go topless at some beach and now I’m all interested in are her tits and not her athletic grace. However, I guess the plus side is that no one is really interested in swimming ’cause it’s like calling golfing a sport. It’s all bunch of boring bullshit. But then I saw this chick’s tits and now I kinda want to see her in action. Maybe she will bring more attention to the sport inadvertently.
It’s not for me to say but it is for me to look and post them up for you. Feast your eyes on Gemma Mengual’s bobbers ’cause it’s for the good of the sport…
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