Life Misled- Corporate Attitude

So, last night I got shitfaced at The Honorary Title concert in Manchester. Of course the venue was a piece of shit ’cause it was just a bunch of teenagers. This of course entertained me for hours but ’cause I brought the ol’ ball and chain I couldn’t really mack it with any of the lil bitties. Nonetheless, we spent some time in the downstairs bar while the shitty opener bands did their thing and I did mine with giant mugs of beer at a very affordable rate coupled with Xanax. I got fucked up pretty quick.

That’s when I noticed Jarrod Gorbel, the lead singer of The Honorary Title with one of his bandmates at the bar. Earlier in the day, I had seen him outside but I was too sober to talk to him. So, I went over to that motherfucker and said I would love to fuck his voice and told him he was really amazing. The ol’ ball and chain went the whole night and had him give us an autograph and jinx our would-be marriage by saying congrats on the engagement.

Anyway, the show wore on and we stood with sweaty, smaller stupid kids and watch The Honorary Title rock out and then took off and did our drunk driving thing back home… Then this morning I was driving about 90 passed a state trooper in a 65 and he was standin’ on the highway. He flagged me to stop but I decided I could do without a ticket, hit a 120 and took the next exit off that motherfucker. Now I keep thinkin’ every knock on my door is a cop when it’s really my white tie party tonight…

I guess shit could be worse… I could be Pamela Anderson’s nipple all exposed and out in the open ’cause bitch is obviously fuckin’ oblivious and doesn’t give a shit about herself anymore. I’ve noticed over time her thighs have paid the toll of her carelessness and now her nipples are just floppin’ about. I keep thinkin’ that of this skank was my mom how would I feel about it? The truth is, my real mom is a drug addict who had me on drugs and had the state take me away, so my guess is a mom who likes to show off her fake tits and suck Tommy Lee’s dick on camera for money is a step up and I guess that’s the difference between you and I…

Here is Pamela Anderson’s nipple while doing some Westwood runway bullshit…

Bonus:

My Honorary Title signed engagement ’cause I care what they think of me…