Life Misled- Corporate Attitude

I have to apologize for being a lazy, drunken slob but let’s fuckin’ face it… Just like my parent’s, you guys have no expectations of me and I don’t have any for myself. This vicious cycle is not productive and talkin’ about it won’t shit my links out so let me do my thing by tellin’ you what I fuckin’ did last night while I wasn’t posting links or livin’ my life between two jobs just to pay my fuckin’ bills.

I caught Butch Walker’s show at Club Hell which opened fifteen minutes late. I was the first motherfucker there yet somehow I did not get the best spot inside. Locals had that lame fuckin’ mobster accent and were just shouting out weird shit and bumping me until I started tellin’ a story about how I like dicks in or around my mouth. Butch Walker put on a solid performance but their opening band was shitty like opening bands are meant to be. I think the worst part of the whole venue aside from the smell of Pinesol vomit and turpentine was this one really fat bitch who obviously connected to lyrics in the same way she connected with the food she ate ’cause the only thing bigger than her was her fuckin’ mouth or maybe her huge tits that were held back only by a t-shirt that was too small for her fat body with a front that read “I love my huge tatas.” I would love them too, if they weren’t there to catch debris from the large mammals she feeds herself. Shit was on some discovery channel shit. I felt like a piece of steak or prime rib at a half price buffet on fat girl night. I felt like a cocktail sausage at a fag party. I could keep goin’ but I got links to post…

Here are some links you missed ’cause I was too lazy to do them this morning and I feel like I’m slipping away…

Natasha Ricardson is officially dead ’cause now they’re talkin’ about wearing helmets to go skiing… Click Me Now
American Idol contestant gets the boot ’cause that’s how shit works… Click Me Now
Chris Brown and Rihanna split ’cause it was inevitable after he beat her like some kinda black piniata… Click Me Now
Charles Manson got a new prison picture ’cause he’s gonna be there ’til he’s dead… Click Me Now
Kanye West charged with three misdemeanors ’cause he’ll get off ’cause he’s black… Click Me Now
Steve-O injured ’cause he was better as a jackass… Click Me Now
Lost plot to focus on past ’cause people don’t forget… Click Me Now
Jeff Zucker defends against Jon Stewart criticisms ’cause that’s a losing battle… Click Me Now
Jessica Lange had a great fall ’cause she did… Click Me Now
Justin Timberlake to roll out new tequila ’cause he thinks his image is that big but its not… Click Me Now
Twilight DVD is due out ’cause you like that weird shit… Click Me Now
Danielle Llyod got a bikini ’cause I have one to match… Click Me Now
Amy Winehouse got undies ’cause that actually surprises me… Click Me Now
Selita Ebanks has a slutty outfit ’cause I don’t even know who the fuck she is… Click Me Now
Shauna Sand in a bikini ’cause underneath that fake tan is a person… Click Me Now
John Mayer’s junk fell asleep ’cause this is breaking news… Click Me Now
John C. Reilly looks like what’s inbetween my ass ’cause I let that shit grow wild… Click Me Now
Lisa Rinna needs a fuckin’ job ’cause she can stand in line like the rest of us… Click Me Now
Kristen Stewart is a bitch ’cause she probably is… Click Me Now